My 1 year plans with BJ went better than expected. I wasn’t mad, angry, or disappointed with him that day. I was happy and grateful to have him. Our day started out at 7am where he tagged along with me to school. I had only one class for the day and I were taking a test so BJ had to wait about 30 minutes by himself. Before the test he helped me run through my notes and then gave me a good luck kiss. I can’t wait to do that every test with him :-) Afterwards, he then came along with me to work and helped out since we were short handed. It was great. My co-workers love him!

When work was finally over we went to catch a movie and then grabbed a bite to eat at the strip in Dallas. It was then about 9:30pm and for some reason I thought I had to get him home. So we were on the way home and then he made me aware of that and I got a smile back on my face. By that time however it was too late to turn back so we were still headed towards Grand Prairie. We were trying to figure out what to do for the next 2 hours and had not a clue! It came to me a short bit later and we headed to a park.

1 year ago on that same date, after I asked him out at 12:01 in the morning, I met up with him later that evening at Blue Park. There we talked about our expectations and every Q&A that we had in our head. There was this one spot on the playset, that resembles a balcony where I stood 1 year ago. The same spot where he first put his arms around my waist and snuggle with me with whatever hope we both carried at the time. I embraced back as we both looked at the north star and made a wish on that cold winter night. It felt so unreal, so magical, but my feelings for him were so unclear. But here I am, 1 year later with him, standing in the same spot with him hugging me from behind and still looking up at that same star.

We later stopped by Starbucks to pick up some hot coffee and then headed to the lake where in our earlier days we spent while sneaking out. We sat in the same place and looked out towards the water… it was beautiful as i rememberd it. Happy 1 Year Anniversary BJ.

OMG!!!! I can’t believe I even survived a day with him, but I did and I don’t regret any minute millisecond of it. :-D Well, as a continuation from my earlier post… BJ went to Arkansas for the weekend. The last time I saw him was on Wedesnday and his group left on Friday at 3:30pm. I was so moody as always in situations like this.(NO!!! charlie, i’m not a spoiled brat… just in love and don’t know how to let go) I was going crazy! I didn’t know what to do. I was wandering around school because I couldn’t concentrate and was bothering melvin at like 8 in the morning…lol. After school I went to work and just sat there. Afterwards, Melvin and the guys invited me out to a steakhouse to have some fun… which I did… but I still couldn’t get my mind off of him. When BJ got back, on sunday, we went to see HAPPY FEET with his siblings and my siblings… it was great..lol. A pre-family outting which will never happen again. :-D BJ also got me a build-a-bear of mumble!!!! :-)

As of right now I still have nothing planned for our 1 year… at least nothing big anyways. Anyhow, BJ is going to spend the day with me tomorrow at school and work and then we’re gonna have dinner in Dallas and whatever else he wants to do. I’m so excited!!!! Check back tomorrow and I’ll give you the updates of our 1 year anniversary… wish me luck and if you have any last minute non-expensive, time constaint permissible suggetions please leave a comment or email it my way… tracy at centriclink.com. I’ll be up till about 2am today so i’ll be on the look out. Take care and have a great nite everyone!

My weekend wasn’t as horrible as I thought it was going to be. I’m still a little upset and don’t plan to get over it anytime soon but it could had been worse.

On Friday night BJ left to his dad’s house and as always I was non-existent till he gets back home. Having nothing to do I just sat there and begin to think sadly like the little bitch I am. I decided to call Aaron up and see what the GLEE people were doing… sure enough they were going out to eat and hit up a movie. I decided to join in and met up with them at Macorroni Grill. I only got a cheesecake because I didn’t have an appetite and even then I didn’t finish the cheesecake.

We then headed up to the movies at the Parks Mall and got our tickets. We had like 40 minutes to spare before the movie started so Melvin and I headed down to AE. We were broke so I only got a pair of underwear; one that has an image of a banana all over with “single” written on it… and another one with lucky charms that says “Good Luck.” Anyway, movie time! We watch Running With Scissors which was a great movie! There were scandals, sex, lesbians, fags, weird family problems!!! It was awesome!

There was only one thing missing though. As we were leaving the movie theatre I notice how empty the mall was…i remembered the spot where BJ usually wrap his arms around me, the spot where he just rambles on about how great or boring the movie was…. I remembered the skating rink where we had our first date…and then… I remembered how empty I felt coming down the escalator without BJ by my side. How he wasn’t there to ramble on about the movie, how he wasn’t there embracing me at our lil spot. I begin to tear and Aaron happens to notice it before anyone so I was like shit! LOL. I notice his hater marks and notices me tearing up. I tried to hide it and act like everything was ok… Hours later I was still hoping that BJ would at least call and say goodnite… nothing.

Saturday came along and I spent most of my day at work eating the donuts that Casey got me and still being quiet. 3pm, 5pm, 7pm pass by and not even a word or a sign of him. The only thing that I can think of to keep myself sane was that he’s thinking about me too, I hope. Around 8pm I finally got a phone call! But for some reason, I wasn’t in the mood to see him. Was I mad, upset? What was wrong with me? Nonetheless, that got over really quicked and I rushed over to his house. I entered his house as he was washing his face. I embraced him from behind with all the sincerity of love and he gracefully accepted it back. He turned around to face me and gave me another gigantic hug and told me that he misses me. Then he ran towards me and jumped onto me! I almost couldn’t breath for a second… hehe. He then walked back to the restroom to finish what he was doing. He then turned around towards me again and gave me another hug. I then took his left hand and wrapped it around my back and did the same thing with his right as he kissed me. I then slipped the promise ring onto his right hand and saw the biggest smile ever on his face. We went to rent a movie and spent the night together.

I still don’t feel so happy though… if any of you read his comment on the prior post, he said that “I’d be the same way if it were the other way around.” Would he really had reacted the same way I did? Sometimes I just can’t wait to find out.

Sorry for the slow updates. I try to post a new update at least once every other day but i’ve just been pounded with work and school! Well anyways, this past week I got to spend Friday night with my boyfriend… we went to see Santa Claus 3. It was such a great movie! While buying the tickets I thought to myself “oh no bj isn’t going to like this movie!” But then he ended up liking it also so it made me really happy. Why? I’m prone to be in relationships where the other person ususally get to watch what they want… horror flicks, sci-fi and all that other stuff that I like too, but BJ is the first one to watch a family movie, chick flick type stuff with me.

Anyways, on saturday I didn’t get to see him at all because he spent that day with his dad at an award ceremony which I didn’t mind. I got to see him on sunday so it evened out. Things are going good… but then he tells me that he’s probably not gonna see me this friday and saturday because he’ll be with his dad. That just ticked me off! Can’t he just do it friday and not saturday?!?! ggrrr. What makes me even more irritated is that he’s probably going to Arkansas the following friday or saturday for a school event. That’s 5 days of mine taken away! 5 freakin days!!! Am I being unreasonable? Should I be mad? I mean that’s crap! GGRRRR!!!!

Hey… ok, so most of you have already seen my promise ring video right? If not, check it out ony BJ’s myspace at myspace.com/taino89. Anyways, my 1 year is about to come up in 20 more days!!! Compared to the promise ring event, I am fresh out of ideas and desparately need your help. What can I do to woo my guy yet not go broke over it? Please email your suggestions to tracy at centriclink.com Or better yet, you can leave a comment.