The world’s most ‘accurate’ news source, the Globe, headlines a gay scandal involving President Barack Obama. A picture of a distressed Michelle and, of course, the shirtless pic from Obama’s Hawaiian beach vacation graced the cover.

Here’s the lil’ blurp from the article:

“PRESIDENT Barack Obama is caught up in a new gay sex and drug scandal – and his loving wife is heartbroken, sources tell GLOBE in a blockbuster world exclusive. Find out all the details of the letter Michelle Obama received from the MAN who claims to be her husband’s lover – and how America’s devastated First Lady is fighting back against a shocking new tell-all book. It’s must reading!”

U.S.GAY, U.S.GAY, U.S.GAY! [Queerty]

We here, declare war on Sylvester Stallone and Matthew McConaughey for having the most overdone man-tittie!

Seriously, are they both competing with each other? We can all agree that pecs like Edilson Nascimento is just to cream for, but what do you say about these fella’s? Stallone should be given a ticket for having man boobs beyond a size D and McConaughey, well, for not letting us suck on it a little — the tittie, that is.

What do you think: Which breast above is bra-worthy? Close-up pictures here.

(more…)

Who doesn’t admire the almighty Madonna? Anywhere Madge goes so does the hot men.

Lady GaGa announced that she wants to be like Madge and fuck random people — just like Madge. The singer states that she has no interest in slowing down her musical career.

Lady GaGa told the Daily Star: “I want to be around for 25 years. I admire Madonna and Courtney Love and the way they re-invent themselves and kick ass. I want to do that and be even bigger. I have my own tour planned across the States in March,” she said, “then I’ll be back to see you guys in April. I’m not interested in settling down. I just want to make music and fuck random people.”

…And the story continues. Poor Riri — the photo makes her look dead.

TMZ obtained the horrific beating-photo of Rihanna that took place two weeks ago, allegedly assaulted by former boyfriend, Chris Brown. Now the Los Angeles Police Department is pissed as fuck. The photo released was unauthorized and generated an internal investigation.

LAPD made a press statement regarding the photo:

“At about 7 p.m. on February 19, 2009, the Los Angeles Police Department Media Relations Section began receiving numerous inquiries about the release of a photograph associated with a domestic violence incident that occurred on February 8, 2009, involving entertainer Chris Brown. The photograph appeared on an entertainment website. The photograph has the appearance of one taken during an official Domestic Violence investigation.

The Los Angeles Police Department takes seriously its duty to maintain the confidentiality of victims of domestic violence.
The Department launched an immediate internal investigation and subsequently filed a personnel complaint.

A violation of this type is considered serious misconduct, with penalties up to and including termination.”

They are worried about “serious misconduct”? It’s about time we got some sort of confirmation regarding this incident. How about keeping that gangsta, Chris Brown, in jail instead of worrying about the release of the photo? He’s roaming freely beating up other woman in his hometown.

I thought America was full of dumb ass hormonal teens… I stand corrected — the UK has just been added to my list.

Alfie Patten (pictured), who is 13 and still look like his balls hasn’t dropped, became a father four days ago when his girlfriend Chantelle Steadman gave birth to 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne, The Sun reports.

Alfie, with his high pitch voice told the paper that “[he] thought it would be good to have a baby.”

“I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10,” Alfie adds.

I am anti-abortion, but this is one instance where I may draw the line — MAY!

Last night Michaela Aston, of the anti-abortion Christian charity LIFE, said: “We commend these teenagers for their courage in bringing their child into the world.”

She’s commending these pre-marital sex havin’ heffers? Okay, maybe that’s a little too far, but I don’t think these kids need commending — more like a hard wooden spanking.

I love my dog as much as the gays love Madonna, but I would never ever pay $150k for a dog.

A couple from Miami reportedly love their dog so much that they got a clone of their dog who recently died from cancer. A company called BioArts International—partnering with South Korean researcher Dr Hwang Woo-suk—created Lancelot Encore, which is the actual name of Lancelot 2.0. Or better said, Lancelot 1.0 Remastered.

Read the story over at Gizmodo.

Remember Anthony Merino, the dude who made international headlines in ‘07 for his infamous case of being a dead body raper. Well, apparently one of his colleagues wanted to defend his rep a little and left  this comment:

“Yes, Anthony did commit this crime….and yes, it was an awful thing to do….but for you people to JOKE about it? what is wrong with you?

Anthony confessed his crime like a man…..he served his time….and he is now a free man under the law… he deserves compassion and forgiveness, as he gets the help he needs.”

I don’t even know what to say to that. If any of you lost someone close in your life just make sure their grave is secured because according to the statement above, Merino is now out of jail… ready to pounce on your next family member’s body.

(more…)

Dena Moir said her son got out of control when he refused to stop playing on his Xbox and come downstairs for dinner. She told police she went upstairs and when she unplugged the video game, 19-year-old Zachary Moir pushed her and called her a bad name. A few minutes later she was in the kitchen cooking tacos when the son showed up, slapped her in the arm and threw a taco in her face. The teen, from Deltona, Florida, has been charged with domestic violence battery and was being held without bail at the Volusia County Branch Jail.

Everyone loves a flamer, including Burger King. The burger joint announced Thursday the launch of their new perfume called “Flame By BK.”

“The Whopper sandwich is America’s favorite burger. Flame by BK captures the essence of that love and gives it to you. Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat.”

So, if you want to smell like ‘meat’, just put some around your neck and you’re sure to have the big fellas following ya ;) The perfume sells for $3.99, but is surprisingly out of stock. Smell yo’ meet! Check after the jump to read the comments of what two purchasers had to say about the perfume :D

(more…)

As if the Chucky doll wasn’t creepy enough, New York-based toy company Tonner Doll has unveiled a new line of figures from the recently released hit movie “Twilight”. Lead characters Bella Swan (played by Kristen Stewart) and Edward Cullen (played by Robert Pattinson) have been recreated and will go on sale in Spring 2009.

Hmm, how timely. Hopefully these won’t come to life in the middle of the night and suck me off my neck.

(more…)